Firstly, let me apologise for the lack of blog posts. I was so busy running away from my responsibilities and any form of commitment.
I popped to Cyprus on a very last-minute trip. My friends and I booked on a Tuesday and left on a Friday. I almost missed my flight, but that’s not the story we are here for.
MY DATING LIFE
Now, I know we are friends, but I am not going to disclose just how many dating apps I use. Just put it this way, if Tesco supermarket did a dating app I would be on it too. That’s beside the point right now. Let me get to the gossip, but first let me give you a little background.
I am not a serial dater, I am monogamous to a fault. I have done the serial dating in my early twenties. Just like everything else in my life I now focus on quality rather than quantity. I will not go on a date just because someone asks me. I vet my dates. We must be aligned or want the same outcome from dating. I am so not here for the ‘let’s see how it goes’ crew, aka the waste your time crew or the no intentions for you crew.
WHERE DID WE MEET
So, I met this guy in one of my apps… He was cute, French, tall, dark, and handsome. Can we all way Cliché together?
Sorry I had to take a break to wipe my dribble.
We wanted the same things, he sounded fun, a sense of humour, creative, he was my type (ish).
We spoke couple times before the date. Our first conversation was fire, fun and a bowl of fruit salad. He got my jokes. For example, we were talking about big bums. I told him I don’t got any, its’ as flat as a crepe. He got it, he laughed his flat crepe ass off. My bum is nowhere near flat by the way. Just putting it out there
My anaconda don’t, my anaconda don’t, my anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun’
Oh my gosh, look at her butt.
(That’s me, I am the butt)
I love that song.
Our second call, we did facetime. I always try to facetime before a date. I got to make sure it’s no catfish. I need to check they are the height they say they are. Don’t judge. If you have been on date with someone who is 5’4 when they told you, they were 5’8. You would do these checks too.
That call went well, he was nice, tall, cool. Although he kind of could not accept me not giving him my Instagram handle. So, I thought, this is not really a big deal. He said he was joking. I believed
Btw, all this is not relevant to why I walked out on the date. I didn’t see myself walking out, I tell you I did not see it coming. I bet you still cannot see it too.
Yay!! it’s the day, texted my friend Michaela to ask what I should wear for a casual date. I even used my brand-new Lidl steamer to de-crease a shirt. That’s effort for me I didn’t even use that shirt in the end, but that’s not the point – again lol.
Guys, I promise I am not stringing you along. lol
Ok, when we spoke about a meet up time, he couldn’t be commit to definite time. he always said, like 7:30/8pm. I have no idea why I didn’t get that he was a late person. I am a late person.
I do the same thing. I give you a range so that I have more flexibly. So, no matter what time I arrive, I am on time!!!
But noooooooooo, this date was super late. Imagine, I was late, and I STILL had to wait for him while he was saddled up on a bus couple of boroughs away.
Me, I was elated, why? I have never met anyone who could be later than me. I lie. Shout out my cousins from the Reading Pascal crew.
So, I sat in my car waiting, and waiting and waiting. It then dawned on me that he may not be the right guy. I am holding my hands up and admitting, two late people could be tricky.
I walked to where he said we should meet. To my surprise, he was across the road. It looked like he was on his phone. I thought he was listening to music, with all the hand gestures – but no.
He Wats App-ed me to ask where I am:
Me: At the pub.
Him: Which pub?
Me: Across the road.
Me:Cross the road.
Guys, I promise you, there was only ONE pub on that stretch of road. Big promise. Remember he suggested where to meet up.
He crosses the road, still conducting an invisible symphony with his hands (talking on the phone). He walks three quarters my way and then stretches and gently wave his hands to indicate, come let’s go inside. I personally don’t even know why I am single this is now my third fluent language. Apparently, I am now fluent in hand waving.
We are walking into the pub. Or so I thought.
A friendly girl stops to complement me on my coat/outfit in general. When she left, I turned around to say, “Oh sorry this happens all the time”. Wink Wink.
To my surprise, he was still outside talking on the phone. At this point we have not said a word to each other. I went to sit down. I Found a nice table, window view. The works, I looked through the window. Mr French was STILL talking on the phone.
After what seemed like the longest ten minutes ever. Mr French comes in and sits with those expensive iPhone air pods in. Guess what, guys, he was still on the phone. I could not make this up if I tried. I said to myself ‘fuck this’ and walked out! I literally never looked back.
I got home parked my car, and if you guys were wondering, yes, he did text me saying:
Him: “Thanks for being rude to me.”
Me: “Toooo you???!!!!!!!”
Well I had to tell him!
Him, “nice to meet you”!
Me: “Meet who exactly sir???”
HOW I FELT AFTER THE DATE ?
Empowered to know that I know I don’t take what is given to me.I know what I deserve.
LET ME HEAR FROM YOU
Tell me about your dating stories below, Good and the worst.
Dress-Zara ,Shoes-Tesco clothing ,Bag-Primark