I have had a fear filled week. I kid you not. First I am going to tell you about my story and then I will explain how I survived a stressful week.
HOW IT STARTED
On Sunday, I cut my hair, I snipped more than five inches off. I haven’t had a trim in over 10 years! When I cut my hair, it was an immediate shock to for me. Even the blunt way it was cut into a bob made me feel uneasy.
Right now, I cannot change my hair, so I am experimenting with new styles and ways to accessorise. On the plus side, my scalp no longer hurts and my, locs are no longer fighting me. The weight of locs was soooo painful on my scalp. The pictures on this blog were taken pre-haircut. If you like, I will write a deeper a blog post on why I cut my locs.
On Monday, I lost my rucksack on the bus. In that bag contained, my lunch – obviously, gym clothes, glasses but most importantly, my work laptop. I freaked out of course! The good thing about that day was that I was enrolled on a two-day training course to become mental health first aider. What are the odds of that happening huh? Here I am with my mental health about to crack about this lost rucksack, but I must pull myself together to go learn how to help others in need. (Which is what I want to use the blog and my life to do really).
Even though my mind and body were in two different places that day I managed to do both. I did the training and tracked down my bag like it was a side hussle. I did not give up and collected my bag with all its contents, lunch included from Cricklewood bus garage. The drive home was sweet.
Tuesday was a normal day, kind of, I went back into training lighter but not relaxed. It didn’t surprised me that I was nervous because my mum was due to have major surgery on the Wednesday. To add to that pancake stack, she did the surgery privately from the NHS. The private hospital would call me 3 to 4 times a day finalizing details.
Wednesday, my mum had her knee replacement surgery. I was anxious for her. I could see it in her face. Although She is not expressive with her feelings like me, I felt it.
Thursday, I got the flu, and I am still trying to recover. But I am better now.
END OF THE WEEK
Friday, I gained strength and made the day mine, I used that strength to by standing up to the controlling family bully. Since I did that, all my anxiety dissolved into an imaginary thought. Which is exactly what they are.
WHAT IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR
The biggest things I learnt that week. Carrying fear and bags of old angry energy can surely make you sick as I still have the flu. Running away from what you are afraid of will never help. I am proud of myself.
Guess what! That week also confirmed I am a fighter and I will not give up. I knew that about myself already however, this intense week re-affirmed my strength. I needed that even though this was an interim feeling.
I will now try my best to a bit braver and let go. Note to self. What you are afraid of is most likely be afraid of you or not at all.
The most important things learnt and helped overcome a stressful week.
- To keep pushing during a stressful time is important.
- Gathering support and having people to help and support helped.
- Taking time for yourself is always important.
- Face your fears and let go.
- Never give up
- Do it even though you are afraid
- I did myself good by staying calm.
- Never take on the why attitude.
Note to self: Being brave is my way of letting go.
Dress:Grass Fields (Old)